In spite of my best efforts to avoid the elephant in the room, Lauren has made it MORE THAN CLEAR that she’d like to be potty trained. As in, she refused to put a diaper on and said that she was PEEPEEING in the POTTY. I’m not particularly fond of potty training. Below is a blog post I wrote a couple of years ago that explains why….
It’s Potty Training Time
June 30, 2011 by Humbly Me
It’s potty training time at the McKeen house. Several times I have tried to convince Daniel that he wants to wait until he’s a little older. To my great disappointment, he’s not buying it. My philosophy may seem backwards, but let me tell you a story:
Once upon a time there was an awesomely beautiful overachieving queen. She spent her days eating bonbons, watching Dr. Phil, and spoiling her two precious little princes and one pretty little princess. A new princess was due to join the royal family very, very soon. One day, the queen took her perfect children to play with the duchess’ children. While sharing stories about their predominantly perfect lives, the well-intentioned duchess said, “You know, Queen, you really should potty train your 2 1/2-year-old prince. When the new princess arrives, you’ll have 3 pumpkins in diapers. How stressful! How will you have time to eat bonbons? All that time spent changing diapers will surely interrupt Dr. Phil.”
Hmmmm, thought the queen, that seems like good advice. Then potty train we shall. Picking out precious prince undies was fun! Choosing a potty throne was divine! And, pretty little princess #1 was an overachiever like her mommy. She decided she wanted to potty train, too. And why shouldn’t she?, thought the queen. If three in diapers would keep her from eating bonbons and two made it difficult to watch Dr. Phil, then only one pumpkin with diapers to change would superb. New pretty princess undies were picked out, too.
If someone had chosen to visit the castle during those next few weeks, they would have been surprised at what they saw. Although the pitter patter of little feet could be heard, the queen was nowhere to be seen. Every time she sat down, one of the royal offspring had to go potty. Every time she stood up, one of the royal offspring had to go potty. Every time she visited the potty herself (which was often, Pretty Little Princess #2 was due any day…), well, someone had to go RIGHT NOW.
It seemed that her life now consisted of being unable to breathe as she bent over her large belly to help the perfect prince pull his undies down. She had to regally squat to help the pretty little princess pull her petite undies back up. At 19 months of age, Miss Sweetness was just a tiny bit too short for her queenly momma to see her beyond her baby bump, much less reach her. And the queen looked anything but dignified as she struggled to heft herself back up.
Life went on like this for several weeks. Pretty Little Princess #2 joined the royal family, adding to the Queen’s royal juggling act. Several times the queen had to stop nursing her precious bundle to run (yes, queens can run) to assist a prince or a princess in the bathroom. More times than she cared to count, the queen laid her precious bundle on the carpeted floor just outside the bathroom door so that she could address a potty emergency.
Although the Royal Family did live happily ever after, the Queen’s life was forever changed. She would never forget the horrors of what she had experienced in the royal bathroom.
So, there you have it. Just the thought of potty training makes a nerve in my neck twitch. We’ll see how it goes…
Our first family pic hours after Pretty Princess #2 joined the royal family.
My royal potty training alumni.
Apparently potty training emergencies don’t occur when the King is in charge.
And the few times emergencies did occur, such as during Easter egg hunting, this is how the King handled them (then took a picture to shock me when I got the roll of film developed…)